So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
