we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
