Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
