I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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