I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
