How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
