My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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