So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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