my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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