My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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