he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
