is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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