sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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