Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
