just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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