Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
