I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
