Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
