she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
