My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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