Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
