he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
