dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
