me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
