I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
