Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
