how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
