nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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