I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
