I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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