Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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