The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
