Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
