She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize
