All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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