We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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