Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ketchup is God's man juice
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
