we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
