There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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