I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
should my penis look like a turkey
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
