bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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