I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
