i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
