is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
