if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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