May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
