i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
