You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
