Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
