think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
they're like a gay fantastic four
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
