Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize