This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
