I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So vagazzling was a success
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
