At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
