I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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