At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
