Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
