oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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